transformation one

Yesterday, I handed in my last two papers of the semester. As it happens, they both addressed the issue of transformation. WARNING: when you write about a topic, very often you get to experience it! This should come as no surprise, because you don't really learn about something until you live it. In my Reformation class, I wrote a paper about the journey of reformer, Teresa of Avila (1515-1582).

Here's a quote from my introduction: The simple imposition of structural change or new organizational rules from an external source does not result in any lasting transformation unless these coincide with a radical shift in the souls and in the minds of the persons who are at the heart of change. If there is no one who believes that certain modifications are vital to well-being and if there are none who are passionate enough about these revisions to suffer the hardships that come with the incorporation of innovations, reform will not survive.

Here are the 4 important components of transformation that I observed in Teresa's life (and the lives of other reformers).:

1. Turmoil - A dissatisfaction with the state of things, or the state of their own hearts, often proved to be an impetus for agents of major change like the reformers. I know from experience that when I start to feel unsettled, ill at ease, or have internal anxiety, it is an invitation to transformation, to move forward into something unknown and unfamiliar. Turmoil shocks me out of my comfort zone and urges me to get out of my seat of complacency. Turmoil is my prodding friend that tells me to get off my butt and do something about the situation, no matter how daunting or scary it is.

2. Humility - This is not wallowing in my own wretchedness, nor being weak or cowardly. Humility is seeing myself in relation to God, which makes me realise that I am pretty small and not so good. But, humility is what fosters openness and reliance on God and that's really good! I need to hug humility close all the time and never let it go. It keeps me on track with truth.

3. Surrender - If I don't surrender, it means I don't trust. Teresa described surrender as making your will the prisoner of God. It doesn't mean going limp and being passive: it means that I want what God wants, and that's a whole lot more than I usually let myself want.

4. Tenacity - Never give up. Never stop. Transformation takes a lifetime. There was a period of almost 20 years during which Teresa saw very little progress in her spiritual life, but after that, things started to change! She opened her first reformed convent at the age of 47. Expect suffering, setbacks, opposition, and personal weakness. These things develop courage and patience and strength. Resistance is what builds muscle! It is those who don't abandon the journey that eventually get there. Teresa says: We ought to feel great alarm if we do not find ourselves advancing...for love is never idle. Therefore it is a very bad sign when one comes to a stand-still in virtue.

I never want to be standing still in my life. I want to be strong and steady, yes, but flexible and growing: a tree with deep roots, a strong trunk, branches that bend willingly, and leaves that flutter in the light and make gentle music in the breeze.

Here's one of my favourite quotes from Teresa: My Lord knows that all I desire is that he may be praised and magnified a little when men see how on a foul and stinking dunghill he has planted a garden of such sweet flowers.

May I be a very productive dung hill.

This is some of my research for my Teresa paper, cluttering up my table. I'll tell you about my other paper next time.

comedic timing

Comic by Joel Micah Harris at xkcd.com One of my favourite jokes goes like this: Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow w--- Moooooooo!! Timing is important in both drama and comedy. A well-paced story draws the audience in and helps it invest in the characters, while a tale too hastily told or too long drawn out will fail to engage anyone. Surprise - something which interrupts the expected - is a creative use of timing and integral to any good story. If someone is reading a novel and everything unfolds in a predictable manner, they will probably wonder why they bothered reading the book. And so it is in life. Having life be predictable all of the time is not as calming as it sounds. We love surprises, especially good surprises like birthday parties, gifts, marriage proposals, and finding something that we thought was lost. Surprises are an important part of humour. A good joke is funny because it goes to a place you didn't expect it to go. Sim

Names of God

The Hebrew word "YHWH" (read from right to left) This past Sunday I gave a talk on the Names of God, the beginning of a series on this topic. This first talk was to be a gentle introduction so I thought it wouldn't take too many hours of preparation. Well, I quickly discovered that the research is almost bottomless; every time I thought I had a somewhat definitive list of names, I found another source which added a few more or gave a different twist on some of the names I had already come across. After several hours I was getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data (and that was only looking at the Hebrew Bible). I wondered how I could present this to people in an orderly and accessible fashion and within a reasonable time frame. Not everyone is up for a 3-hour lecture crammed full of detail on a Sunday morning. So I took a break and spent a bit of time meditating on this problem and asking the Spirit for guidance. And then I thought that being overwhelmed by Go

soul refrigerator

I went grocery shopping yesterday and came home with three bags of food. After I unpacked them all, this is what my fridge looked like: really empty. How does that happen? How can I feel so full and ready for any food emergency one moment, and after one quick glance, realise that I have nothing, really? Today is one of those days in my soul as well. I woke up with gratitude and fullness in my heart, ready to take on this day and all the wonderful opportunities that it presented. Then I caught a brief glance of some emptiness in my life and bam - my buoyancy was compromised. For the past few hours I have been treading water, trying to keep my head in a positive space, bobbing in and out of disappointment, and catching myself whining with pathetic indignity at the cement blocks of other people's stupidity that are tangled around my ankles. When I am staring at the empty refrigerator of my soul, these are my thoughts. Where do I go from here? Perhaps I should slam that refrigerator

outWORD by Matte Downey

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