Skip to main content

A little more hope

Me at Kingsport Beach, Nova Scotia
Last week Dean and I were on the East Coast for a few days of leadership meetings for the Atlantic Vineyard Churches. It was great to arrive a day early to have some down time: wandering around the Halifax harbour, driving through the Annapolis Valley, stopping at Kingsport Beach, and chilling in front of the fireplace in our historic Bed and Breakfast, originally an army barracks. It was also a real treat to see friends we had not encountered in years and catch up a bit with folks who are dear to our hearts.
I so appreciated the tone of the get-togethers which were focused on gathering together over food and telling stories and praying for each other and worshiping our great God together and listening to the still, small voice of God for each other and not so much on hearing a lot of speakers give talks, great as that can be. On the Friday night, I was sitting meditatively on a couch during worship when I felt that God was offering to teach me how to hope again. Now, I think of myself as a pretty hopeful person in general, but if I am honest with myself, my hope is a bit rusty these days. Many times I find myself retreating to a pretty safe place of faith; a place of careful, tentative prayers. I ask God to heal, transform, and upend our society, but expect little to change. I believe that the supernatural intervention of Jesus is going to happen, just not today, and a teaspoon of caution seems necessary to avoid being disappointed time and time again. I am especially aware of the danger of assuring people that God will bring about this change or that change, and then see them sink into despair when nothing appears to happen. I would never want to foist that type of delusional faith on anyone. By default, then, I hope for very little. So, yeah, my hope might be a little rusty. My response that Friday night to the divine invitation to hope was Yes, God. Teach me what hope is.

Being a student, the first thing I did was look up the definition. The Greek word for hope is elpis and it refers to confidence, trust, expectation. Confidence is a hard one for me. Do I have confidence in God? Yes, but often that translates to just speaking well of God (confidence in his goodness, love, grace, forgiveness) and not confidence that God can disrupt life as we know it. Basically, I am talking about miracles. I have been witness to few of them, but know well the transformative power of slow, faithful love and surrender over time. So that is my go-to hope: that all this will not be in vain, that it is all heading somewhere good. I don't mean to diminish long-term, gradual change, but that's not the only dynamic we see in the ministry of Jesus.

As I continued to read the definition of elpis, I came across its origin: from elpo: to anticipate, welcome. And then (light bulb) I knew what vibrant, healthy hope could look like for me: I could welcome the breath of the Holy Spirit, the touch of the Father, and the power of Jesus' death and resurrection by making a generous space. I did not have to forcefully declare anything, nor name it and claim it, or do any of that other stuff sometimes associated with spiritual authority which, to be honest, always seems slightly disingenuous when I try it. If hope is being welcoming, then I can prepare a place for the movement of the Spirit. I can look out the window for the first glimpse of Jesus (or climb a tree like Zaccheus). I can open the door when Jesus knocks. I can expect that in every situation, I will be surrounded by the God of love and grace.

I admit that, at times, I am a doubting, cynical, negative host. I brace myself for the worst, ready to accept a scenario where most of the invited guests will probably not show up and the food I have prepared will be inadequate and tasteless. I am ready to be disappointed. I half expect the party I have planned to be lackluster and boring, I assume that at some point in the evening I will discover a stain or a rip in my clothes, and someone is sure to break something or spill food on the furniture. As the party progresses (and indeed, far more people come than I expected), I see the dishes pile up and think about how much work there will be in the aftermath. Less people is less mess, really, so I start to resent the guests and their jovial attitude.

Oh, how small and safe my heart can be. How much it resists enlarging. How it clings to safety and comfort. How little it dares to hope. How afraid it is of disappointment. So I ask the Lord of hospitality to teach me to have a welcoming spirit. To say, Yes, come Holy Spirit. You are welcome here. We have been looking and waiting for you. We have prepared a place for you. Come and change us. Come and live in us. Come and bring your healing, your gifts, your wisdom, your life. We open our arms. We run to greet you. Welcome!

"Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you." - Psalm 37:9
Labels:

Comments

Shelley said…
yes, amen, and me too.
2:52 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

comedic timing

Comic by Joel Micah Harris at xkcd.com One of my favourite jokes goes like this: Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow w--- Moooooooo!! Timing is important in both drama and comedy. A well-paced story draws the audience in and helps it invest in the characters, while a tale too hastily told or too long drawn out will fail to engage anyone. Surprise - something which interrupts the expected - is a creative use of timing and integral to any good story. If someone is reading a novel and everything unfolds in a predictable manner, they will probably wonder why they bothered reading the book. And so it is in life. Having life be predictable all of the time is not as calming as it sounds. We love surprises, especially good surprises like birthday parties, gifts, marriage proposals, and finding something that we thought was lost. Surprises are an important part of humour. A good joke is funny because it goes to a place you didn't expect it to go. Sim
Post a Comment
Read more

soul refrigerator

I went grocery shopping yesterday and came home with three bags of food. After I unpacked them all, this is what my fridge looked like: really empty. How does that happen? How can I feel so full and ready for any food emergency one moment, and after one quick glance, realise that I have nothing, really? Today is one of those days in my soul as well. I woke up with gratitude and fullness in my heart, ready to take on this day and all the wonderful opportunities that it presented. Then I caught a brief glance of some emptiness in my life and bam - my buoyancy was compromised. For the past few hours I have been treading water, trying to keep my head in a positive space, bobbing in and out of disappointment, and catching myself whining with pathetic indignity at the cement blocks of other people's stupidity that are tangled around my ankles. When I am staring at the empty refrigerator of my soul, these are my thoughts. Where do I go from here? Perhaps I should slam that refrigerator
1 comment
Read more

Names of God

The Hebrew word "YHWH" (read from right to left) This past Sunday I gave a talk on the Names of God, the beginning of a series on this topic. This first talk was to be a gentle introduction so I thought it wouldn't take too many hours of preparation. Well, I quickly discovered that the research is almost bottomless; every time I thought I had a somewhat definitive list of names, I found another source which added a few more or gave a different twist on some of the names I had already come across. After several hours I was getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data (and that was only looking at the Hebrew Bible). I wondered how I could present this to people in an orderly and accessible fashion and within a reasonable time frame. Not everyone is up for a 3-hour lecture crammed full of detail on a Sunday morning. So I took a break and spent a bit of time meditating on this problem and asking the Spirit for guidance. And then I thought that being overwhelmed by Go
3 comments
Read more